Andy Carroll: Ambition over money

The hold up of Andy Carroll's transfer is not just about money. Ambition comes into it as well. Well on the world of twitter, there has been two vigils. One is regarding one of the greatest human beings the world has seen in Nelson Mandela.Sadly, the iconic anti-apartheid leader is about to knock on Heaven's door. The second vigil is a totally ridiculous one. West Ham fans virtually living on twitter, desperately waiting for confirmation that Andy Carroll has signed for West Ham.

Personally, I'm not too fussed either way. I can assure you Messrs Gold, Sullivan and Allardyce will have a plan B, in case Carroll doesn't sign. However, it most certainly won't be Wilfred Bony. West Ham simply cannot afford to pay £12 million for someone like Bony on the back of a few goals in a third rate league. With our debt, there is no room for error. We cannot risk in having to write off twelve million should Bony flop. Signing Bony is La La land stuff!

Sigmund Replies

Dear Dave,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I rarely answer letters at all, actually. My practice here is quite busy, and while free time has always been hard to come by its been particularly difficult since Micheal Jackson arrived. What I would have done to be his shrink when he was alive.

I digress.

Because I am not familiar with football in its current state, I decided to read up a bit on the people and things you wrote me about. Firstly, the very act of supporting this football club you love so dearly is something I speak about at length in my early writings.

Goalkeeper? Check. Left-Back? Check. Striker?

Big Sam and the board have wasted no time, not even until the transfer window opens, before starting their summer business, with two players already signed up to join West Ham United, in the shape of shot stopper Adrian from Real Betis and Shakhtar Donetsk's left back Razvan Rat.

The latter an experienced older head to compete for the position on the left side of the defence, passing on his vast knowledge including Champions League appearances to youngster Danny Potts, who should make some strides in the next year or two to making that position his own, and there's always George McCartney if fit and Joey O'Brien who would do a job for the side wherever he's asked to play. So Sam and the Davids have sorted the left-back position very well.

The latest news is regarding the 26-year-old keeper Adrian, who after 16 years with his hometown club Real Betis, has looked for a new challenge and joined up with the club to challenge Jussi Jaaskeleinen for the number one spot, the goalkeeper has spoken fondly of his former club who he had massive loyalty to, and also of his joy at the opportunity to learn from Jussi. With these two competing for the number 1 position, it may spell the end for Henderson at West Ham, but the quality has improved.

So with the goalkeeper and left-back positions sorted at such an early point in the summer, the club are keen to snap up a top striker to compliment the squad and bring in competition of a better standard, whether it is Andy Carroll who comes in or another striker, the club have targeted our squad weaknesses, especially the depth of the team, and brought in quality additions.

It's nice to see our club are not wasting any time, it is a far healthier situation for the team to snap up players early so they have pre-season to work together rather than late transfer window additions who must gel when the season has started. Gold, Sullivan and Allardyce deserve credit for the business done so far, and with the work they'll do over summer it'll give us a great standing for next season.

RexHammer's email issues

Firstly I would like to apologise for the lack of input to the site by myself lately. It is down to a mixture of illness, appointments and a slight lack of motivation. 

Getting onto the topic at hand. I have been having problems with my email for the past three days or so. If you have been trying to send me an email directly, or using the contact us page in that time-frame then I have not been able to see your email. I am hoping to get this fixed ASAP. I am sorry for any inconvenience caused. 

On The Couch About Andy

Dear Sigmund,

I know that you have your hands full, what with being the founding father of psychoanalysis and all. And I'm sure being dead has its own issues. But I'm dealing with something that is playing terrible tricks with my head.

There's this guy named Andy Carroll. He plays football. Last year he played for my team, West Ham, and we want him to come back. Permanently. We've offered the team that basically owns him a pretty good amount of money and they've said yes. He looked happy playing with us last year, all of the supporters cheered him on, and the manager loves him. It's a match made in heaven. But he hasn't said yes to the deal yet. He still might, and a lot of experts in the football world think he will. I have said for months that I think he will end up at West Ham. I even published an Open Letter to him online saying so when most thought it wouldn't happen. The rational side of me is still 100% confident. But the waiting is killing me. I'm having delusional thoughts. I'm a wreck. I know, I know. Shrinks of your methodology let the patient do most of the talking, making us work through our emotions and issues. And, like I said, you're dead. Not too verbal anymore. So I'll try.